I’M BEING ACCUSED OF SENDING MIXED SIGNALS
Dear Renee,
I’m a single man and I am in a happy committed relationship. I admit my relationship hasn’t always been stable, but we are now fully committed and planning to move in together. The question is, that when I go out with friends, women flirt with me, and my friends say that I send mixed signals. The other day, I was out to lunch with two friends and a woman came over, made a move on me, and gave me a business card. I said “I am dating someone,” but she didn’t seem to care. My friends (and my girlfriend) have said that I don’t say the right words to let these girls know I am NOT interested and that I am a flirt. What’s the deal? What could I say that would make my friends and these other women know I am taken? I’m not dead, just in love. What do you suggest? I feel committed and need to know what I could say that would give the right signals.
Mixed Signals
Dear Mixed Signals,
Great Question! I understand your challenge. There is a fine line between being a friendly open person and a blatant flirt. First off, when you are in love, happy, and feel content in a relationship you send out a vibe of confidence that magnetically attracts people in general. The non-verbal messages are one thing added to the casual response to women that flirt with you that make women think you still might be open to dating other people. When you say, “I’m dating someone” that sort of leads a person to think they could have a chance. When you say “Thanks, I am in a committed relationship and am not dating anyone else” Or “I’m flattered that you flirted with me but I am in love with or married to someone very special.” These messages send a committed vibe. There is a difference!
All couples go through challenges such as this and open communication about the level of commitment is imperative. I have many clients that aren’t clear in their communication. Remember women are auditory and love to hear how you feel and the ultimate is when you express your feeling with friends. It warms a women’s heart to know that you can express your undying love in front of the important people in her life! You might want to read my book Get Real about Love to help you with all the tools you need to learn the triggers from past relationships or call me for a session. I know this question will help other people dealing with the same issue. Thanks!
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