Dear Renee,
I need your help! I’m dating and in love with someone from a completely different religious denomination and I had originally thought it would not matter. We have been exclusive now for 6 months and as time has gone by, we’ve gotten more involved. I see now that this religion issue will present a big problem with my family. She wants to meet my family and have me meet hers this year. I don’t want to tell the truth because she will hate me, and meeting the family is not going to help matters. I have hidden this secret from my very strict Orthodox Jewish family and they are very rigid. She has told her family and they are very open-minded about my religion. I feel so guilty I waited this long, but we were having fun and I was afraid to tell her for fear she’d leave. Am I selfish not to be honest? What can I do to save the relationship? Should we be friends? Can she forgive me? After we spent New Year’s together, she wants to know where we are headed. HELP!
Dear Different Religions,
Dear Renee,
I need your guidance. I’m dating and in love with someone from a completely different religious denomination and I had originally thought it would not matter. We have been exclusive now for 6 months and as time has gone by, we’ve gotten more involved. I see now that this religion issue will present a big problem with my family. She wanted to meet my family and have me meet hers this year. I avoided this issue over the holidays since I didn’t want to tell the truth because she will hate me. Meeting my family was definitely not going to help matters. I have hidden this “secret love” from my very strict Orthodox Jewish family and they are very rigid. She has told her family and they are very open-minded about my religion. I feel so guilty that I waited this long, but we were having fun and I was afraid to tell her for fear she’d leave. Am I selfish not to be honest? What can I do to save the relationship? Should we be friends? Can she forgive me? After we spent New Year’s together, she wants to know where we are headed. HELP!
Dear Different Religions,
It’s a new year and it’s time to Get Real! Men wonder why women ask so many questions up front! They don’t want to be led on. It is very selfish to lead anyone on a path that you have no intention of following. This could cause her to mistrust people for a long time. The sooner you tell her the REAL TRUTH, the sooner you can feel free of the guilt you are carrying around and perhaps you can still be friends. You never know she could be willing to convert if she doesn’t want to kill you first!
Do you love her? Are you willing to tell your family? Do you feel deep down she is “the One” or are you just afraid to be alone? Be honest for the sake of her heart!
It sounds like this started out as an innocent friendship that has taken a turn into deeper love. I believe that with open communication and honesty, you can tell her the truth, so you can at least maintain a friendship after the shock wears off or take a stand for love!
If this is so important to you and she is willing, you could make it work if you make a commitment to this relationship. Anything is possible with honesty, integrity, and time!
I have seen so many couples that met through my events and religion was an obstacle they did overcome with open communication with all parties involved! The question is, just how deep is your love and will she be able to forgive you misleading her? Hmm…will true love prevail? This is your life and perhaps your parents can be open to this working out. You must honor her heart and to discuss this issue now.
This situation happened to a previous client of mine and she was very hurt after spending almost a year with a Jewish man who said his family would accept a Shiksa (a non-Jewish Women) into the family. She looked like a Jewish girl (she was 100% Italian) and he said his family would be open. After meeting them, they made it very clear that their son must marry a Jewish girl to pass on the blood to the children. Unless she converted, she was out! She felt deceived and she broke it off. (Is this the response you are looking for?)
She came to see me needed to heal her heart and wanted closure. They did meet with me for a session and he admitted he knew she wouldn’t have dated him and that he was being selfish. She was very hurt and angry for a long time. She came for a few coaching sessions He went on his merry way and married a nice Jewish girl a year later! After taking some of my Get Ready for Love classes she created a clearer vision and regained her confidence. She did meet and marry the perfect man a year later and is happy. So, love did prevail after all. Be honest and upfront about your vision and love will show up when you least expect it.
It’s a new year, to be honest with your heart and either go for it or set her free. Most of all learn a lesson from this so that you don’t create more heartaches with other women. Get Real and be upfront with the people you meet about religion and your top values. If someone falls for you at least you can say you were honest.
Have a love question or dating dilemma? Send in your questions to me and I’ll do my best to respond. Go to my site to see the latest blogs and hot events at www.ReneePiane.com
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Have a Happy New Year! Love is in the air.
