HAVE I BEEN BLOWN OFF?
Dear Renée Piane AKA-Love Designer,
There is a woman I have known for about two weeks. When we first started
talking, I felt like something really clicked. I felt like we had a
wonderful rapport together- we have talked a lot, and our conversations
always make the time fly quickly. I have grown to like her better and
better the more I have gotten to know her. I wanted to ask her out, but
held back. Not only was I afraid of rejection in itself, but the fact
that I liked her so much definitely raised the stakes for me. Finally, I
decided to just ask her out. Instead of saying yes or no, she blushed a
little and said “I don’t know” and her face got all squished up. This was the one response I was not
prepared for. I feel like I was blown off- like she didn’t really want
to accept my invitation, but was too polite or afraid to tell me so.
Could you shed some light on what her behavior meant? Was I totally
mistaken in thinking she might like me? And what should I do now?
have I been Blown Off?
Dear Have I been blown off,
In all the time I have written for various publications, this is one of the most frequently asked question!
What happened? Why no date? What did I do wrong? Why didn’t He/She go out with me or call me back? So for all of you who have written to me here is the answer! If she/he wanted to go out with you she/he would say yes and would call you back within a few days! She/he has other things going on!! Period! Her facial expression showed she did not know what to say!
If she has a boyfriend and keeps you as a friend…that’s what you are…a friend. Date other women and move on!
Often times a connecting conversation and wonderful rapport is a sign that someone may find you interesting, but doesn’t always result in a romantic interest. Why? Many women surveyed say they may enjoy meeting a man and be pleasant but it was only in that moment. She had a nice time but didn’t get a good vibe! In my business I get lots of feedback about the initiall meeting. Why do you have success one time and get shot down the next event or bar? The feedback we get from both sexes… “I wasn’t on top of my game tonight” “Nice person but no sexual chemistry.” “Sometimes the magic happens, sometimes it doesn’t.” Every time you go out you have a chance to connect. Keep your spirits up!
In your personal situation…She doesn’t want to be cruel but also doesn’t want a date with you. She didn’t know how to say NO! Get over it and enjoy just meeting people without worrying about closing a deal!
You could ask her one more time to relieve your anguish and then move on! But why waste time?
Take my classes to build your confidence and use this as a stepping stone to realize you have rapport skills and sooner or later there will be a woman interested in you! Practice with people in all your conversations and bring out the best in people! Then let go of all expectations and enjoy just being you! The energy of a guy that is desperate for a date is a turn off. Why do the stakes rise when a women is attractive to you? Because inside you don’t feel you deserve her? That is BS. When a man feels confident on the inside, he attracts women toward him. The work for you is to refine your attitude with yourself!
Her behavior to me sounds like she enjoyed your company yet perhaps sensed your fear of rejection and it might have turned her off. Your Vibes (as described in my seminars and my book Love Mechanics) sent out the wrong signal and you were not aware of the energy you sent or she just wasn’t sexually attracted to you. This is one of the topics we will be covering on the Dating/ Love Tune-Up series soon available on My ITUNES LOVE ADVICE SHOW
Your mind and thoughts about your worth and value comes out unconsciously in conversations and women can sense the fear a mile away.
I can help you with this personally in a private coaching session so next time this happens you walk away thinking “She wasn’t the girl for me and not warp your mind with negativity! Keep on flirting and grow your internal confidence muscles to get different results in the future!
come check out my LIVE CLASSES and GET READY for LOVE with me helping you on your path! Have a burning love or dating question? Need a Love Life Tune-Up or some dating coaching? I am here to help! Contact me. Still Single? Suddenly Single? Want to liven up your love life? Call me for a private session 310-827-1100 to and check out our new RenéePiane.com site to get on our mailing list and see all of our seminars and products designed to help you WIN in the GAME of LOVE!
Hope this helps you get back in the game!Call me if you want more guidance (I offer 15 minutes FREE 🙂