Interrogated when a Date Asks “Why have you never been Married?” by love Coach Renee Piane
Posted on Dec 08 2011 by Renee Piane
What do you say when a Date Asks “Why have you never been Married?”
Dear Renee, I love your dating advice and have a dilema! I am a single woman who is only 41 years old. I have never been married and have lived happily single. I am attractive and have been in a few long-term relationships but have not gotten married. My challenge is, when I go out with men (many of whom are divorced) they all seem to interrogate me about never being married. I let them know I have been happy on my own but they think something is wrong with me and start badgering me. This has happened quite frequently and now I am getting insecure to tell people I have never been married. Any thoughts on how I can stop this. Between my family and the men I meet I am sick of it!
Interrogated
Dear Interrogated,
Wow what a bummer having to feel so defensive when you are out on dates! I understand the frustration, since I have had this happen to me personally since I was 25 years old. First of all, you need to feel confident within yourself and not let men or your family affect you and get into a confident state befoe going out.. Then, think of these dates and family visits as practice to stay in your “positive language of love” and walk away from any interrogators that badger you on a first date. They might just be protecting themselves and asking too much too soon to keep from getting hurt. Although people often ask about past relationships (which I don’t recommend on the first few dates), you need to just let it roll off your shoulders when they ask so soon and say something like:
* “Well I have not met the lucky man I want to marry yet and I have been just fine on my own “
* “I was not ready to get married until recently…I have been happily single and now I am ready to share my life with someone special!”
* “Are you doing a survey or something? Tell me more about you.”
* “I didn’t know this date was going to be like “The Weakest Link” or something!” Then laugh it off…
* “I believe that getting married is a sacred commitment and has no time clock…I can honestly say I was not ready and currently I am.”
* “ Up until now I have been career focused and desire to be with a man that has no judgment about me about not being married…so I am still looking.”
* “I want to get married when it feels right for me, and not be pressure by society norms.”
* “So tell me what does marriage mean to you?.” Then turn the focus back to them by turning a question into a question. Change the subject and keep the topics light!! your dates follow your rnrgy so stay in your power girl!
You can always fend off questions with questions…it’s the best way to deal with it. Most importantly, stay calm and unaffected. You need to be fine with it, because if you let them see it makes you squirm, then they know there is some insecurity on your part and some heealing needs to be done. Is there some sadness about this subject that triggers you? If you are so affected then you need to ask yourself …is it ok that you are still single? When you are cool with it and people sense it they will just let it go. Trust me I had to do practice staying in my power and look at the blocks that stopped me from finding real love. Have you? We all need to take a deeper look if we get triggered. I now teach my process on how I on opened my heart after years of dealing with infidelity in my family lineage and was baggered for years. Once I healed my patterns, I met the love of my life and have been in love for almost 10 years! It’s an inside job and often we all need a coach to help us on the path to love! i am here for you! Be confident and trust love! It comes when you are open! If you are ready to unlock your heart and find Real love call me for a personal coaching session or take my monthly GET Ready for LOVE classes from anywhere you are! Hope this helps and i have more to share!
Have a love or dating dilema? Need a heart healing session or coaching? Email:Renee@ReneePiane.com. Still Single? Suddenly Single? Want to liven up your love life? Join us at Rapid Dating cocktail parties and Networking events, held in cities all over Southern California. Call 310-827-1100 to RSVP and check out our new www.ReneePiane.com site.
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